random stuff now that im almost through with this
another blog entry in along time. yey!
okay. setting: Manila. time: 08:00. Sunday morning. almost only a week left till i go back to Davao. i'm really not quite sure where to start. or where i last took off so i can remember the last feeling i felt and not get too unattached to myself since my last post here. so im going to touch on some random stuff at the top of my head. here goes.
escapism and physics.
well for one there's Physics that i've almost finished dealing with. i have to say it was a gruesome match, it almost cut through my pride, punching holes right through me and my feeble attempts to pass one of the very few things ive never been confident in. and mind you, there are VERY few things i am not confident about because im never the shy one. what i have in my mind pretty much gets out of my mouth in screaming bright neons. so here goes physics and i haven't passed an exam, nor even got close to actually pass one. not that i didn't do what i could because i did. this is where my power-puff-girl-themed-car
one-night-stands.
yeah. i kind of typed in that title faster than i could even realize what this part is supposed to be about. so uhm. no kinky stuff here. i wish there was but there isn't any. i was busy being the good girl and taking car of all the acad stuff so i basically lived in my bed the whole time (no seriously) so, whenever i got the chance to go out (by myself) they're all usually unplanned and spur of the moment trips...
in life we always think that most days are usually boring and uneventful. but then there are also those particular days which just turns everything upside down. chance encounters. 'magic moments', truly significant fragments of the day which tumbles you over on a full 360 turn and before you know it, you're a completely different person. so this is what this part is about. you may not realize this but manila is pretty scary when you're miles away from everything that you're familiar with, when you have no idea which stops will take you where and which people you'll have to deal with when you're left on your own. my mom calls it being in 'the wrong place at the wrong time'. when you know you're not supposed to be there but you realize that just a tad too late. it's funny because it was like a deja vu of some sort. because ive been in a similar situation when all the red lights keep telling you that it's the wrong turn and yet you still manage to break through that wall and find your way over that 'no trespassing' sign. okay. im probably talking gibberish now. but the bottom line is, like my mom said, i was at the wrong place at the wrong time. and the panic was almost too instant. suddenly manila was the most dreadful and hate-infested city in the world and i was right in the middle of it, in a quick sand that was pulling me under as fast as it was choking me. suddenly nothing else in the world mattered but that moment that brought me there. the adrenaline and panic that was building up clogging in my throat was just too much. too much that the desperation of release and giving up sounded like the most perfect idea. and then. SNAP. something clicked. that moment. when you wake up suddenly and you are aware of every detail of that moment. the sounds, the warm light, the movement, the people, the dead of the night. suddenly everything is in high-resolution and you could think clearly. that moment. anything could've happened to me then. but He was there. i could feel Him. it was as if i could see Him grinning at me and teasing me at the corner of the street, across from me. little me who looked so scared and helpless and weak. He never left me for a second there. all i needed was to let go. that night would be one of the nights i would always remember for a long time.
wheat bread and diliman.
so, i kind of developed this fancy of going out late at night and walking around the acad oval. well, half the acad oval, actually. the acad oval is the main one-way road that is rung along the perimeter of most of the main buildings in up diliman. that's about 2.2 kilometers for a full 'oval' and 1.1 for half (makes complete sense, doesn't it) so anyway, i do that because i think diliman is most beautiful and serene at night. at morning you know that people are always rushing off to class but at night it's calm and almost magical. i fall in love with it every time. there's something very captivating about the place. you just know there's so much history in here. when i walk the oval i try to imagine myself being part of that history. i actually have but somehow a part of me still belongs to davao. i liken that to another fancy ive developed while staying in diliman. i always stock a pack of wheat bread for breakfast. im not usually a breakfast person. i usually have coffee and that's it. but lately ive been addicted to wheat bread because sometimes when im too lazy to go out(since the dorm im staying in has no canteen) i just have them for lunch and go out have dinner someplace. eating bread for breakfast reminds me of home. when i wake up in the morning my mom asks me if ive eaten and she usually sends out our helper for bread no matter what time of the day it is even when it's late enough for lunch. its like i know i can always go somewhere else for a time but there is a piece of me that looks for home.
manila is like an adrenaline shot pierced right through you on impulse. and more often that not that rush is just so addictive that when it wanes down at the end of the day you find yourself staring into space, immobilized for the next few hours. but then when it simmers down there's a stigma in you that pulsates softly. a spot that wants to pull you back home. maybe that's the one thing that i realized about manila. everyone is always in a rush. every tick signals the end and the beginning of a whirlwind race. but davao. davao is cradles anyone in its buoy. there's no stress, no rush. everything is just. so. cool.
so the verdict? it's what my dad always says. always be in the moment. after that, do the next thing. so while im here, who knows what else is gonna happen? i sure have no idea. but while it's here i'm just gonna sit back, relax and breathe it all in.:)
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